the weight of regret
Cross_d_a
Summary:
Feemor Aylward dies by his Clone Commander’s hand, then wakes up 24 years in the past.
Feemor has no idea what’s going on, but he’s going to do his damned best to fix whatever the kark just happened. Too bad he was never really involved in that whole Skywalker mess. Guess it’s time to actually get acquainted with his crazy disaster lineage.
(Sidious is just confused about how all his pawns keep slipping out from beneath his thumb.)
More by Cross_d_a (2)
quench your lonesome grief by Cross_d_a
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi: The Dark Side (Comics), Star Wars Legends: Tales of the Jedi (Comics), Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Bad Batch (Cartoon), The Mandalorian (TV)
16 Feb 2025
Summary
There’s a reason why Obi-Wan Kenobi never heard of Qui-Gon’s first Padawan.
Or:
When investigating a long-abandoned Jedi Temple, Feemor touches something he shouldn’t. As Jedi so often do.Shelves: Star Wars Fics
- Site:
- archiveofourown.org
- Words:
- 40,883
- Status:
- In-Progress
he leaves sand and stardust in his wake Anthology by Cross_d_a
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Tales of the Jedi (Comics), Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Wrath of Darth Maul - Ryder Windham
06 Oct 2024
Summary
Obi-Wan Kenobi has lived, died, and lives again.
-Basically a self-indulgence series exploring the Star Wars universe vicariously through Obi-Wan's attempts to right the wrongs of the past. Intended to become QuiObi in the long run, and will feature a lot of characters including Anakin (of course), Maul (and his brothers!) and Ahsoka.
My intention is to get all the way through Force Awakens, but we'll see how that goes, haha.
Playlist: Sand and StardustDoing my best to update regularly!
Anthology containing:
he fell in the night through shadow and storm (a bright hot light)
The Master is solemn beside him, gimerstick thudding against the floor with every step. “One of the better days this is, for young Obi-Wan. With him now, his friends most likely are. Heading to Ilum tomorrow, they are, to continue their Initiate Trials. Young Obi-Wan will not be among them and grieve, they do.”
Qui-Gon frowns. “Was the Initiate supposed to go originally?”
Yoda’s sigh is heavy. “Promising, the youngling is. Had many hopes, I did. But with his mind in turmoil, go to Ilum to choose a crystal, he cannot. Not when the Force twists from his grasp and settles so violently about him.”
Qui-Gon cannot lift his foot for the next step. He seems rooted to the ground, an ache deep in his chest, a fear he tries to release into the Force building in his throat. “Master Yoda—”
“Like Xanatos, he is not.” The Master has stopped, too. His gaze burrows into him, deep and unforgiving and a touch sad.
“How do you know?” Qui-Gon’s voice tears his throat, too harsh for the healing halls.
“I know.”
“Master—”
“You will see.”
-In which Obi-Wan Kenobi has lived his life. Has died. And lives again.
An Interlude: A Study in Love and Loss (and their beginnings and ends)
Obi-Wan finds that he cannot help but love.
--
He has loved and lost more than he can count (as so many have), and still he does not know whether it would have been better if he had never loved at all.Obi-Wan thinks loss starts with love. And maybe sometimes love starts with loss, too.
hurricane on the edge of oblivion (with nowhere to go)
“Young Bant Eerin is having…difficulties.”
Feemor frowns. “Master, we have no way of knowing what she is truly seeing. It could be past, present or future— and we do not even know if the future she sees will come to pass.”
Even so, Bant’s visions are troubling, full of shadow and violence. At the centre of it all is one person. Sometimes man. Sometimes boy. Sometimes something else entirely. But it is always Kenobi, there is no denying that. His essence is the same, no matter how it twists and warps and crumbles.
“If we could only find him—” Qui-Gon interrupts himself, gaze far-off. “In another life, maybe, he could have been my- my padawan, but now…”
Feemor worries for his former Master. And for this strange youngling he's never even met, and likely never will.
--
In which Obi-Wan acts in the only way he knows how after a lifetime of regret and self-sacrifice.
But the thing with that is this: Obi-Wan has thought himself to be alone for far, far too long. And he is not the only player on the field.
Shelves: Star Wars Fics
- Site:
- archiveofourown.org
- Words:
- 208,887
- Status:
- In-Progress